Out Of Control
There is this theory that I read somewhere which states that every human being is related to every other human being including those who are not known to us. You can establish a relation with any person in just less than five contacts. According to that, this is how I establish a relation with the President of United States. My brother works at Wipro whose Manager has close contact with Mr. Azim Premji. Azim Premji has access to our Prime Minister who has contact with the President of United States. Indirectly according to this chain I am now related to the President of United States. Sounds funny, that’s what I thought. But diving deep into this theory I realize that the actions of people whom we have not heard of affects us in some way all the time. Some inhumane act of unknown person could bring in grief to us. When the actions of unrelated unknown people affect us, a relation gets established between us. Walking down the road to attend a job interview, I convinced myself that this theory could somehow be true.
It was ten minutes past nine in my watch and I had to hurry for my interview. That was when I heard someone shouting at my back. I stopped to take a look at who it was that they were calling. An unknown man in his late 20s ran towards me yelling at me to watch where I am going. In an hurry to attend the interview and since I was lost in my stupid theory, I had failed to notice that my wallet had fallen down and this man carried it and was behind me shouting for the past ten minutes. I took my wallet from him and thanked him for his kind act. He left saying that I should have more awareness while doing anything especially when in public. I nodded my head in acceptance with a sense of guilt as my ego was hurt by his words. We parted our ways and I still continued to think how my wallet fell down until I heard a tire screeching sound followed by a huge cry and scream. I turned back and to my disbelief the man who asked me to pay attention to my surroundings was lying in a pool of blood. I went into a state of shock, mixed emotions filled my heart. While my ego was laughing, my eyes became wet, my heart started to beat faster praying for him, my legs froze in disbelief. Crowd gathered around him quickly. Some just showing pity on him, some trying to help him and others taking his photo. With less guts to help him, I turned back and continued to walk for my interview. Guilt took over my laughing ego quickly, I was afraid that God will not forgive my actions yet I didn't had courage to go back and help him. If I had not lost my wallet or if he had not noticed my wallet or if he chose not to return my wallet he would have probably not met with this accident. Convincing myself that nothing was in my control I reached the office to give my interview. Sitting in the lounge waiting for the HR to call me, I slipped into theory of how life is connected to one another. A wallet caused an accident! How stupid I will look in front of people if I said this. Junior HR came running to me and said that my interview was cancelled. She did not give any reason and just asked to wait for her call. I came out with heavy heart blaming myself for losing my wallet, for the accident, for bringing the accident victim’s family on road, for not being able to give the interview. Reached home with sadness and frustration in mind and sat in front of the TV changing channels randomly without patience. Remote stopped working as the battery died and a local news channel was playing. In a couple of seconds from there the breaking news about the HR manager of the company where my interview was held involved in a road accident flashed. He was behind the wheel when the accident took place. He ran over the same person who had returned my wallet earlier in the day. My guilt grew like a monster. I plugged out the TV plug. Had some whiskey neat from the last night's leftover. Forced myself to go to sleep soon. The accident kept playing in my dream. I lost my wallet when I had stopped to pay for a cigarette on the way. I forgot that there was no back pocket to the pant that I was wearing.
I woke up with heavy head. Had a hot water bath. Drank hot coffee. Got ready and left for my interview. On my way I stopped for a smoke and noticed that a person had dropped his wallet. I took it and called him out loud. He did not respond to my calls. I went behind him calling him aloud. After ten minutes of following he stopped and responded to my calls. I handed over his wallet and asked him to be in his senses when he is out in public and turned back towards the cigarette shop to have one more smoke. My heart congratulated me for helping that unknown person. Proud filled my mind. With a big smile on my face I started to cross the road. I was stuck with a speeding car. My smile erased. My mind went blank. My heart didn't feel anything. Within a second I was lying in a pool of blood. Anger filled my heart asking was it wrong to help someone. Had I not returned his wallet back I would have not been in this situation. Had I left smoking as decided earlier I would have not been in this situation itself. Was it my mistake or his or should I blame the time and God for everything. Everything seemed out of control in no time.
Luckily air bags had been deployed and it saved me. I thanked God for showing mercy on me. I faced the crowd’s anger and still drew all my courage and took their help in pulling out the man under my wheels. I rushed him to hospital in my car. Was waiting with fear and anguish outside as he was rushed into the emergency. I was on call with my junior HR when this happened. I was late for my work that day. She had called to inquire where I was. Had she not called me probably this would have not happened. Had I been responsible and attended the call by parking my car towards the side of the road this would have not happened. Had I left home early this would have not happened. I didn't knew whether to blame my colleague, myself or my wife for serving my breakfast late. I sat there in profound silence as nothing was in my control praying that everything should be alright.